First Cold

Keira is sick with her first cold after only a week in daycare. I also have the cold and my head has been pounding. I really hate the daycare situation because I never get the fun times of day with Keira. She used to smile nonstop. With this cold and being upset at daycare, weekdays have been miserable.

My husband goes to work at 7am. Keira realizes it is a daycare day from his departure and she cries her head off. I try to distract her and dress her after eating and then we go to daycare. As soon as I put her down on the floor she howls until I leave. She plays the rest of the day. I return to more tears because the other kids leave before I arrive. It's hit and miss how the rest of the evening goes. I get home after any errands. I give her a snack while I make supper for the family. My husband arrived back from work and then we eat. And guess what? It's already bedtime.

I am finding it really hard! I live for the weekend and am so tired I feel sick. I don't have any time to do fun things. I would go on prozac if I thought it would help. I just need rest and time to be a mom. How come everyone else seems to be so good at this while I am just exhausted?

Moving.

I met with a Realtor Darcy Simon Tuesday to discuss what should be updated to sell the house next spring, when all the military are shifted from base to base - some to Base Gagetown. It's pretty much everything that I thought, only more extreme.

I thought we'd have to add a rail to our deck but it turns out our deck wasn't properly made. It is unsafe and needs more supports. It should be raised a few inches. At east whomever fixes the deck can staighten our front stoop.

All the brass hardware that looks like it was added in the 80s was really just added because the construction company went for the cheapest knobs and lights should be replaced with brushed steel.

There were a few other minor things I had already been wanting to do, but didn't want to shell out the bucks. I should have gone ahead and done it to enjoy the improvements while living here. That's a lesson learned for the next house. We did install hardwood floors, which everyone loves. At least the house is practically brand new and should sell in a heartbeat.

Darcy Simon was a pro hockey player for eight years and he is a really amazing person on and off the ice. I am very pleased to have him as our realtor.

Daycare tomorrow

I am so stressed out about dropping Keira off at daycare that I feel physically ill. The lady that runs the daycare is amazing, all of my coworkers have used her and their kids are fine. It's me that isn't fine. I loved it when I first went back to work but having my husband home was a crutch. Now I have to drop her off with a stranger and spend two hours each day with her outside of sleeping.

My husband goes back to work tomorrow. It's great but his job is over an hour out of town. I am looking forward to either moving there or having him find another job. Time will tell. In the meantime I am trying to be prepared for anything without being too stressed. Who am I kidding? I feel really stressed.

I have already packed everything for tomorrow and laid out Keira's and my clothes. I just have to feed us, pack my lunch and get out the door.

Walmart Portraits - 12 Months

Fridays!

I feel fantastic today. I wore my red sweater to work today to show my support for the Canadian military. On maternity leave, I wore a red Canada tshirt on Fridays, but it isn't quite dressy enough for work. Last weekend, I picked up a red sweater. It felt good to finally wear red at work.

Today work brought in breakfast for everyone and did a presentation on new products. The energy from management really excited me. I missed that excitement while on maternity leave. The rest of the day is just flying.

My husband starts a new job on Monday so we are buying a new car. The whole time we were looking I was thinking the car would be for him. Once we settled on a car he looked at me and said, "Well you'll be the one driving it." I was so excited! It has been so long since I have had my own car. We are going on Saturday to pick up the car in Moncton. The prices in Moncton are a couple grand better than anywhere else in New Brunswick.

It's Friday and I can't wait for the weekend. Keira starts daycare on Monday and my husband will be driving to Saint John, so it will be another transition. Transitions are hard but they can also be a lot of fun. It will be hard not eating supper with my husband, but it is just until things are settled.

Keira turns 1

Keira's first birthday party on Saturday was great! She was a little
overwhelmed at all the attention but it was still very fun! We
videotaped a lot of the party but I doubt anyone will ever watch it
except for us. Photos are so much easier for people.

We gave Keira a TMX Elmo. She was a little freaked out at first. She
cried and smiled at once. Elmo stands upright, rolls around on the
floor, laughs, shakes, kicks, slaps his knee, hiccups, dances and
sings. I saw it on YouTube and then decided to buy it for her. Elmo
was the hit of the party.

Some parents warned me about wanting to destroy loud toys or lose the
batteries, but I think with all my walkman days in the past I am
sufficiently hard of hearing to enjoy the loud toys.

We also gave her an Elmo guitar. It is targetted at toddlers and comes
with an oversized pick. Keira was thrilled to receive the guitar. She
watches her dad play and always tries to copy him. Now she can play
along with him.

Some people brought gifts even though I sent out an email saying, "No
gifts!" It was very nice of them!

Mom came to the party, but Dad had to work. It was probably easier for
Mom that way. She enjoys the group setting and feel more comfortable
when she doesn't have to worry about interacting with Dad. Dad visited
the next day. He felt bad he missed the party but really loved the one
on one time.

My in-laws also came to the party. After the last guest left my
in-laws and we went to the Atlantic Balloon Festival in Sussex, New
Brunswick. The sun was setting as we drove into town highlighting just
the sides of the balloons at takeoff. The balloons really are
beautiful. The Atlantic Balloon Festival is always the weekend after
Labour Day. It could be a nice tradition for Keira to go see the
balloons each year on her birthday.

By the time we got home Saturday night, Keira was zonked. We all fell
asleep in minutes.

Keira missed me today

From the time I got home until bedtime, Keira clung to my leg saying, "Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom." And I thought I had separation anxiety. It's getting harder every day to be at work. At first I loved it and now I am starting to hate it. It may be easier as time passes. Realistically women have to continue working to maintain a career and to afford a family. Every time I check a lotto ticket I imagine what it would be like to not have to worry about money and career. What would I do?

Headaches and reading glasses

I started having horrible headaches at work, so I ordered reading glasses from https://www.speert.com. My prescription is only +.5, so I couldn't find it in the local drugstores. Ordering the glasses from the cheapest optician would still cost about $150 so I was very pleased to find glasses online.

I hope am not charged brokerage fees. Still it should be cheaper.

Week 1 Back to Work

My first day back to work I loved the freedom and the companionship. I truly believe I am a working mother and not a stay at home type. My second day back, there was no work for me and I felt a bit anxious. My third day back, I felt extremely anxious and wanted to go home. My fourth day back, I started receiving work and it was a little easier.

Now I have a long weekend! I can't wait to be a mom for a few days.